It’s unfortunate that the responsibility, and job, of a team captain wasn’t explained to you - in full.
What you took upon yourself was a lot more than what you should - but to your credit, you were trying to do the right thing.
However (here it comes), you put yourself into a role that you don’t belong.
The overall agenda(s) of a team’s management belongs with the head coach, your Skipper. It does not belong to you - nor should you assume, or have that management role placed in your lap. You have neither the experience, nor do you have the leadership role to set the tempo and conduct of players.
In the coaching ranks there are those that understand a lot more about human interaction and influencing conduct. Therefore, what’s expected of all, and the personality to enforce said expectations - is something that coaches bring with them as a matter of who and what they are as people. Coaches have the dynamics, in the way they conduct themselves, to motivate people in positive ways - both on and off the field. It’s one of the reasons why coaches are in the coaching business. In this regard, you and youngsters like you, come up really short - but that’s not a bad thing. It’s just the way things are. Your young and without the dynamics that adults have.
The tendency that a lot of team captains have is to take on the “enforcer’s” role. They try to motivate and lead by either being in a “click”, or, they’re Mr popularity. Sometimes, these team captains actually can perform on the field - thus they become an example to the rest … which by the way is one of the reasons why coaches pick these people to be captain(s).
In any event, to address your situation more directly.
- Don’t take on any more of a role then team sprit on the field.
- Don’t try and re-make someone into something they’re not. There could be issues for this person(s),outside of your realm, that only complicates things. Things that you are not qualified to deal with.
- A team is a reflection of the coach or coaches that manage it. They are suppose to set an example by which you and others can follow. If they are not doing that job, that’s their problem, not yours.
- You have enough on your plate with just growing up and addressing your own issues. Taking on the job of “making the world right” is a big bite. You can address someone’s cruel remark, but just remember to say your piece, then let it go. Starting a debate - all by yourself, will get you no where. So, don’t go looking for a reason to beat yourself up. Pick your battles more carefully.
I’ve read your posts in the past, and along with this last one, I’d like to make some observations about you.
You show a sensitivity for what’s reasonable and what’s right, more so than many of your generation. This will serve you very well as you get older, hold a job, start a family, and making decisions in the voting booth.
Your the kind of person that makes a town, a community, a school district, a good neighbor. A person that others depend on.
You’ll learn quickly as you grow older and you’ll put a lot of things right - but, you’ll have experience behind you to manage your actions, and you’ll get results.
It’s people like yourself that others will depend on when the tough stuff needs doing. Things that require courage, dedication, honesty, worth.
It’s people like you who lead by example - but, in ways that suit your age and experience. You’re a quick learner, and you will be admired for that.
So, take a step back from this situation that your in, take stock of what I suggested, and let your coach deal with the negatives that slam his stewardship - that’s his job, not yours.