This type of thing seems to keep happening to me too. I’ll make a pitch on the black at a key point in the game and the umpire calls it a ball. The other night, my catcher told me in the dugout that the umpire would say “nice pitch” but call it a ball even though it clearly caught black. I’m a very intense competitor so it is very difficult for me to control my actions…but I do. I manage to get over it by stopping the flow of the game. The thing I like to do is call time and relace my shoe. While I’m relacing my shoe I tell myself that I’m going to make an even better pitch this next time. Another thing you can do is POLITELY ask the umpire if the pitch missed outside. This is usually okay unless you have one of those umpires who thinks he is the star of the show.
I’ve learned a couple of things. The first is obvious: you’re much better with the umpire on your side so don’t make him mad. One little gesture in the second inning could spell trouble for the rest of the game. The second thing I learned is that if you start blaming other people for things, you are in for a ton of trouble. Everyone in the stands may know that the pitch was a strike, but if you start blaming the umpire this takes away from your mental game and ability to focus on future pitches.
Also, a good thing to do is call time and talk to your catcher. You can ask his opinion, but I always talk about what we can do to get the batter out. While it is hard to do, keep your mind on other things besides the umpire. You have to stay confident in yourself that you can do what it takes to get the hitter out.