I was having a cup of joe with some friends of mine who I had worked with over the years. Our paths crossed, occasionally, so we shared some of the lighter moments and had a few laughs. Here are some of them - no specific names or places, just good times:
Remember when Jones came out of the dugout all ripped by that skinny guy calling first base? Yeah, he argued so hard that two other umps had to come over and cool things down … then Jones lost his teeth and they feel on the skin … then everybody just took one step back, just staring at the ground and Jones’ teeth! Best part was … Jones never skipped a beat – kept on jawing … but nobody could understand a word he said!
Remember the time when Jones put all those small cans of spray paint in the other locker room and took all the labels off and replaced them by gluing RIGHT-GUARD deodorant labels on.
Or, how about the time when Jones put a dab of manure in the umps mud.
Remember when Mackie got the equipment all mixed up - half of us had home uniforms while the other had away. Jones went out for the ground rules meeting and the plate ump asks “ what’s with this?” Jones tells him “ well it’s like this … half of us are here … the other half aren’t”.
-Remember the time we had a lady ump at home plate. Yeah, Jones went out for the grounds rules meeting and as they start talking doesn’t he stop everything and apologize for some language that he used. When the plate ump asked why he was doing that, Jones digs himself in even deeper by saying… “ oh, I didn’t notice that you were a lady … I mean not a lady … a woman … I mean with all that equipment on … I mean without the makeup and stuff … I mean the equipment … no not lady stuff equipment … I mean the way you look … “ If ever I saw a guy write his own obits … Jones did a good job all by himself.
- Remember the time when overcast skies delayed our game and the umps decided to go for anyway. First batter up and the sky lets lose with a bolt of bright and a crack that sends everybody ducking for cover. Jones comes out of the dug out and yells over to the crew…” I think you better listen to him” as he points upward.