Today I have been granted my first start for the team I joined a few months back.
After not throwing for roughly a year, but staying in shape, I went out to throw for a team in early June and it was very easy for them to take me in as I was a hard throwing lefty.
Since then, I have done a velocity program to get my arm in shape, which paid dividends. Now my arm is never sore and can throw harder than before due to a more baseball specific training routine.
But that is just background info. The main reason I am writing this is because all of a sudden a surge of self-doubt has started to rise in my mind.
I am 18, did not play my last year of high school, but have been doing so well with this team for the months since, that I was recruited to a top level Junior College in my area today.
After throwing with one of the pitching coach’s previous pitchers, he decided I would be a great fit for the team and he could develop me into something even better.
That is awesome. But here is where it gets rough. He told me he would come out and see me pitch my next game, and at the time that sounded exciting. I have always been a late reliever who shut the door the last three innings. I took care of what had to be done.
My first start is the day he comes out, and my mind is deceiving itself with the old “you are going to mess up” tactic.
I know it is very common for this to happen. I have read it over and over in Dorfman’s books, so I know this is no exception.
I come here in hopes someone could guide me in the right direction? Such as something I can do. Should I journal it? Meditate on it? Try to overcome it in my bullpen? Etc.
Anything appreciated, and thank you for your time.