Neat bumper stickers

I saw some rather clever bumper stickers recently:

  • “Where do you want to sit for eternity – smoking or non smoking?”
  • “Save the earth – we’ll strip mine the other planets first!”
  • “Save the whales – collect the whole set!”
  • “Stop honking – I’m loading as fast as I can!”
  • “Brake lights broken – watch for the finger.”
  • “ I love animals – they taste soooooo good!
  • “Love brings the world together – and if we get any
    closer there won’t be any room left!
  • “There’s about 2 ½ millions idiots in this world,
    and I had to marry their King!”
  • Momma said there’d be days like this, I didn’t
    figure they’d go on for months at a time!”

As you can probably tell, I got time on my hands…

Coach B.

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A few good one’s I’ve seen

“It’s not PMS I’m just a bitch”
“Jesus is a liberal”
“If you’re riding my ass you better be pulling my hair.”

“If you’re riding my a** you better be pulling my hair.”[/quote]


And how about “Go ahead, hit me—my daughter’s a lawyer”?
Here’s one I’ve seen on quite a few cars, and it seems to reflect the current state of affairs: “Work sucks—but I need the bucks”.
And how about this one: “If you get any closer, introduce yourself.”

“Well I’m off to work… KILL ME!”

The prison guard lets the criminal off of death row. A couple days later he asks him how his new job is. So the criminal responds, “Is the chair still open?”

“You can ‘give peace a chance’. I’ll cover you in case it doesn’t work out.”

“Never do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.”

“If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?”

“Corn? When did I have corn?”

“Join us for national procrastination day…date to be determined.”

“I child-proofed my house, but they still get in.”

“I support gun control. Use both hands.”

“Without men, civilization would last until the oil needed changing.”

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-I do what my Ricecrspies tell me to do.
-Sometimes I wrestle with my demonds, sometimes we just sunggle.
-Be nice to your kids, they decide your nursing home.
-Obey gravity – it’s a law.
-I don’t suffer from insanity – I enjoy every minute of it.
-Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
-Out of my mind- back in five minutes.
-Where there’s a will – there’s a relative.
-Young at heart , slightly older in other places.

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