My new passion

Okay, I still love baseball, I mean how can I not.

I have however found something I think I really want to do when I am older. Not necessarily for a living but at least for extra cash, for maybe some fun.

Now before you flame me, remember, you’ve gotta’ expect something strange from someone who throws the knuckler.

Here goes…

I want to be a…
VENTRILOQUIST!!!

Your a wierd kid.

Not as weird as some. What do you expect from a kid from a small town with no people?

What the heck is it with ballplayers and their fascination with being a ventriloquist, taxidermist and government surplus. When I came across this … I couldn’t believe it.

A long time ago, in the back of comic books (I think), there was a little gadget that was the size of a penny that a guy put under his tongue and it was advertised that it would instantly let the user throw your voice anywhere. One of our geniuses got one of these things. He thought he’d play tricks in the dugout one night while sitting near the head coach and his assistant. The only problem was every time he’d open his mouth the only thing that came out was a real sick phillizzzsist…phillzzzsssssss. At first our skipper thought the bullpen phone was buzzing. So a …”what da you want? …” ahhhh , I don’t know…what do you want”…”I didn’t call you, you called me!!!”. It was kind –a funny, but after the fifth time an ugly mood settled in … seeing how we were loosing and badly. Our skipper was a big guy – came in rug sizes … 9 X 12 … and had a temper. He almost pulled the bullpen coach right through the wires. We later found out what our joker had, only after a short trip to a local emergency room when the thing lodged in his windpipe. ( I wonder how dat happen??)

Another guy we had that same year took up taxidermy – stuffing animals. It seemed like every other day we got a run down on how and what he was stuffing. So, one the guys in a sarcastic way challenged him to bring in some of his stuff and show us. Which he did. Bright and early one morning he carried in a squirrel – right past security, and put it a room that we used for meetings and private phone calls. That same morning I came in with our head coach and our conversation was of a sensitive nature so we finished in this small meeting room. After we finished he ask me to leave and close the door so he could have some privacy. Well folks… he sat down, reached into the desk draw that had the phone, and without paying too much attention … grabbed hold of good ole squeaky the squirrel …and what followed was a …WHOOOOAAAAA!
From the other side of the glass windows of that office it looked like our skipper was having a real knock-down and dragged-out fight with his bullpen jacket. After things got back to normal – if we could call it that, good ole squeaky looked like he had got the better of our skipper. Too bad too – cause the squirrel looked like he was blasted out of snow blower.

Another guy brought a surplus Navy weather balloon to the stadium. when he found it exhausting trying to inflate the thing, he used one of the ground keeper’s utility buggies. The only problem was the exhaust pipe got too hot to hold on to … and this inflated behemoth lumbered across the outfield under a gust of wind right in the direction of a grounds crew.
( what were the odds ) For some strange unforeseen reason – the grounds crew had shovels, spades, sprinkler heads, rakes and other stuff with sharp things. Well, it wasn’t long before…KERPOWWW. The weather balloon was full of some sort of grayish white powder. The thing that cracked our guys up was, the balloon popped while pressing some of the crew against the billboard fence – leaving little gingerbread like outlines. The only thing that saved those involved was that a couple of sponsors
thought it was a pretty cleaver advertising

[quote=“Coach Baker”] When I came across this … I couldn’t believe it.
[/quote]

Was that meant negatively or was it just that you couldn’t believe it?

Was that meant negatively or was it just that you couldn’t believe it?

Nothing negative at all – in no way. In fact, things like what you want to try make the game better and better every year. Players like yourself make the game interesting - fun - a blast - worth getting up in the moring! I wish you the best with it… I really mean it. In fact, I’ll bet you even odds that the highter you go in the game, the more creative guys seems to get! I had one guy who was taking up magic … yep magic.
Geesssee louise… stuff would appear then disappear… quarters were being plucked out a guy’s ear every miniute… at the end of the season I swear if I heard one more time… pick a card!!!

Just make sure you have a coach with a sense of humor … some coaches can be a little stiff.

In fact, if you’re a first baseman, think of all the fun you could have when the FU calls a BR safe by leveling his arms out … but what comes out of his mouth is …OUT!!

But to answer your queston more directly — yes, I couldn’t believe it because what you’re doing fun stuff that I run into every year and I was a little more than just surprised to see it here. Over all , I think it’s great!!!

Hey Pustulio what’s up. Too me that’s pretty cool, just do what you want.

I once wanted to be a magician. To be completely honest, I was an AMAZING magician. I could do some cool things. :jesterbox:

I actually have a natural taltent for ventrilaquism. I use it only once in a while, sometimes I forget I can do it, it’s just natural for me, it’s kind of fun and if I praticed it I bet I could do it a lot better.

Well, I picked up the talking without moving my lips thing pretty quickly that wasn’t a problem, I’ve even started doing the Terry Fator thing and done some impersonations like that. I noticed that it’s pretty easy to throw my voice to a sideways manner but trying to get a voice from below or above has become difficult for me.

I still need a better puppet though. I currently have a small puppet with no neck, it’s a frog.

I am hoping to get a nuerotic rat puppet from axtell.com sometime soon.

I have a natural talent for eating oreos.

Me too! Once I ate so many that the next time I pooped, my poo was oreo colored with no smell and little white bits. I think my body passed the oreos right through me. I was sick with a cold or something for a week after that also.

For the most part, I never eat sweets and I avoid processed foods as much as possible.

In my post above I said…

In fact, I’ll bet you even odds that the highter you go in the game, the more creative guys seems to get!

These are some great posts that prove it! All in all, these guys and yourself take the game to a fun level that would be missing otherwise.

SPENCER added:::

BOWER added:::

Another time I was closing a game, I drank a can of coke before going in to close. I figured the sugar rush would make me strung up and throw faster. Well, I swear that can of coke is the only reason I caught a liner right back at my head which I turned 2 with.