I’m a junior in high school and I’m in the first year of varsity baseball and third year in my school’s program. I am seriously considering giving my uniform back. When I play baseball everyday I don’t fell like I’m on a team. Coach always plays the same nine guys and the guys that share the bench with me don’t always treat me with respect. Its like I’m a subordinate to them. Just yesterday a teammate called me stupid because I called him out on why he didn’t slide to break up a double play. I just feel like there is so much more I could be doing with my life if I could spend three hours a day after school doing something else. The only thing that has kept me coming back for the last three years is my love for baseball. Has anyone else experienced a situation like this or can give advice about what I can do? Thank you in advance.
Well, why do you play?
You said you love the game. A lot of times that is enough, not always.
Frankly, high school baseball in a whole bunch of places is not very good.
I wouldnt quit the team at this point, youve put in your time at this time of year. Find a good summer team or alternative if the high school experience is so offputting.
The stuff in high school stops being important (usually) about 10 minutes after graduation for most people.
1st off, I would say, that it is not your job to call someone out, but rather the coaches. For him to retaliate, is only human nature.
2ndly, If you truly love baseball, I would suggest you work your butt off to become better. At practice, hustle your butt off, make the caoch notice from your actions & your desires. During games, be the one who is constantly cheering the team on & picking up players when they don’t do well.
In the off season, find a summer program commensurate with your talents. Use the experiance to hone your skills & come back next year & show your coach how much you have improved. If you have worked harder & developed the skills, you may get a chance. If you set on your butt, joke around, don’t hustle, you will probably get the same place on the bench you now have.
You will find this experience in all walks of life and at all stations. People gravitate to this kind of “group” behavior, regardless if it’s baseball or not.
I will say this though, your feelings and thoughts on the matter are well founded, and don’t let anyone tell you different. On a ball club, it’s very important to be part of the team - both quality wise and personal wise. After all, no team is a team if not in sprit for everyone.
Ah, but here’s the dilemma with sport’s teams - acceptance. Rookies are always at the bottom of the ladder, the butt of jokes and meant to feel as though they’re on the outside looking in. Heck, when I first started my very first coaching job I couldn’t even get a security guard to talk to…
so, here’s my suggestion - get use to the idea that you’re about to experience the basics of life itself. You’re not going to fit in everywhere and with everyone. Start thinking of yourself as a lot tougher than those around you, but don’t act like it, don’t strut around, just be yourself. Get a thick skin to you and watch how others act. Don’t try too hard to “fit in”, and don’t start telling people how to act in life - either on or off the field. Learn to be self confident by just being yourself.
Also, and finally, baseball is all about competition - the harder the competition the better (for most). Look inward and see if this is truly for you. There are summer leagues that hare just for fun, then there are summer leagues that’ll break your back with hard work.
Sooner or later a lot of what I mentioned here will surface, one way or the other. You sound like a bright young man that has a lot going for himself. I read a lot more between the lines in your comments than just playing ball. I know you’ll figuring things out and in the final analysis, you’ll amaze yourself that you could do it.
Well said, Coach Baker.
I understand that that’s part of the game, but I’ve been playing with everyone there for at least three years, some I’ve been with my entire life. Unfortunately, the one’s I’m most comfortable with have drifted away from me over the years and now either joined in in not including me or just try to stay out of it. To my knowledge, NOT ONE of my teammates have stuck of for me or tried to stop others from saying things about me behind my back.
Like I said, I’ve been here for two and a half years. I’ve tried to fit in with the other guys by cracking jokes, trying to hang out outside of school, and even helping some with homework. But its just relentless. I’ve gotten to the point where I can only trust one or two guys and everyone else act like they don’t want me there.
[quote]If you truly love baseball, I would suggest you work your butt off to become better. At practice, hustle your butt off, make the caoch notice from your actions & your desires. During games, be the one who is constantly cheering the team on & picking up players when they don’t do well.
In the off season, find a summer program commensurate with your talents. Use the experiance to hone your skills & come back next year & show your coach how much you have improved.[/quote]
You literally just wrote down my baseball life. To the word. But none of my coaches have really noticed or done anything to recognize my dedication–not that I expect recognition for my work–I just don’t feel like I’m being noticed by anyone.
MIKETOKARZ, you’re looking for acceptance, being part of something, and that’s a natural thing to want and expect. But, like I posted before, and I’ll repost it again:
You’re not going to fit in everywhere and with everyone. Start thinking of yourself as a lot tougher than those around you, but don’t act like it, don’t strut around, just be yourself. Get a thick skin to you and watch how others act.
I suggest that you become more independent and less dependent on those around you. If not, you’ll dwell on this experience and it will eat away at you little by little.
You can do this - be independent and be your own man, regardless of your age. Don’t close up inside and go off by yourself - that’s not an option. Go with the flow, lower the benchmark a bit on your expectations from those around you. You can do this.
First off, let me qualify myself with respect to this subject – you, and what you’re going through right now.
I have no experience with the adolescent experience and even less with dealing with teenagers and their social life. Growing up and trying to “get through it all”, is a hard nut to crack by any stretch of the imagination.
I have found that teenagers have something lacking in dealing with life that adults don’t – experience. It’s that ability to compare things based on past experience along with the time to dwell and reason out the possibilities that adults have (most of us anyway), that you don’t. That situation for you and teenagers like you, is a bummer, to say the least.
Ok, look - acceptance is a good thing and we all need that to some extent, some more than others. The greatest acceptance that a man can have is to accept himself for who and what he is. In particular, being comfortable to his likes and dislikes, and where he stands on what’s right and what’s not. A man doesn’t have be proactive or even vocal on a lot of stuff, but being savvy and street smart to the world around him is imperative for healthy growth.
Learn to pick your battles carefully. Observe more than you activate, plan for the next day well enough in advance if you have to, and know the personalities in your immediate circles. Don’t put yourself in a location and situation that gives these people the chance to take advantage of you. You’re not going to change them, so don’t even try. So, give yourself time to plan for a better day – not run away from it. Big difference
You’d be amazed at how similar your experiences are now when projected into the future with employment, living in a neighborhood when you settle down with a family of your own, and …. are you ready for this…. raising your own youngsters when they have a similar experience that you’re having now.
With respect to your baseball experience – sometimes no matter how hard you try, the deck is just stacked against you. No matter how much advice you get, that advice just doesn’t fit neatly to the situation(s) at hand. And finally, when you’re dependent on someone else for an opportunity to show your stuff, and enjoy the experience, - but it’s not happening, it’s time to look elsewhere. Facts simple, easy to understand. I coached a man like that, sort of. We had a personality thing – I didn’t like him, he didn’t like me. Simple. No words were spoken, just rubbed each other the wrong way. After two seasons – he was gone. I felt pretty smug about the deal, but in a game the next season after he left, he pitched a no hitter against us. The new ownership called me into a closed door meeting and had me on the carpet for over an hour with … “how come you couldn’t get that out of him.” Life for me on that club afterwards was rough. Believe me, what goes around comes around.
You seem to have qualities of being sensitive to situations and environments, as well as the intelligence to understand beyond the immediate point in time. Use those qualities to your advantage - your well ahead of the curve among those around you.
I know how you feel. They formed a clique. I played with a bunch of jack-offs in high school who only cared about how many wrist bands they were wearing. Most didn’t even have dirt on their pitches after 12 innings. They would dive if they didn’t have to with a runner on third just do they can look cool.
What im trying to say is I know how you feel and its all really up to what you want to do. I ended up leaving my team cause I didn’t want to associate with them and I wanted to play passionate and grinding baseball (you know bottom of the 9 bases loaded 0 outs “lets get out of this shit type baseball”). I wanted to play with teammates and coaches who cared about me and my development.
It all comes down to you and your experience. Don’t let a bunch of jack-offs ruin the game you love. Play with it or find better