Don't Know What To Do

Alright so basically a lot of stuff going on close to graduation. I’ve already vented to myself so I’m out of all the depression, kinda. Anyways lots of demoralizing things happening lately, I mentioned earlier my senior project and I have to represent tomorrow and got most of the new stuff I had got deleted and some of it is not replaceable or recreatable (photos). I have no support from, my friend’s, teammates or family right now it seems like.

My academics are slipping because of all the time I’ve had to spend on my senior project.

I’m feeling like I don’t have any real friends because well none of them give me any support, ever, all I get for trying to tell them about my problems is cruel and condescending nick names and things like that.

Also, our baseball team sucks, I’m not even going to try and sugar coat it like I do to most people, we suck. We have four people who can sort of hit and only two of them can do it with people on base, our pitching is okay but we only have 6 pitchers. But mostly nobody shows up on time, nobody is focused and every game is turning into 10+ run blowouts because we can’t play defense. Hardly any earned runs against our pitchers but the defense sucks, terrible throws, holding the ball too long, throwing to the wrong base, booting balls, dropping flies, everything you can think of.

To be honest, the baseball, the school, the social problems are all starting to get to me and I’ve tried to be as tough skinned about it as I can be but lately I just don’t know if I can keep doing it. This sort of stuff has been going on for the last couple of months and it hasn’t gotten to me too much until now, all of it.

Pustulio…what are you looking for as far as “support”?
We aren’t in Wyoming friend but look, life is going to have these trevails man. You won’t ever get away from problems, issues, difficulties and what not. The only thing you have is your attitude and how you face them. I don’t want to discount your issues and problems but to give you perspective…in my sons Sr. year the love of his life was killed in a car accident the month before the season started, she took another girl with her…things happen to people…if you have faith and belief (In yourself and a higher power) you can see light at the end of the tunnel…and Pustulio…no matter how frustrating things are now…at some point it will get better. As to your parents, friends…team mates…I think personally that you are wrong about the folks…I don’t know them but feel that right now you aren’t thinking as clearly as you can, but instead of going around with a cloud over your head…how about just letting it go…if the stuff got deleted…well can you get it back?..just let it go…do the best you can and look forward…can’t stop the rain…can’t shake your fist at the sunrise…each day offers you treasure…or trevail…it’s all how you look at it…find the good…if you can’t find the good…FIND THE LESSON! Your youth has you confused and thinking people are against you…well they aren’t against you…they have their own issues and problems…one of the terrible things about our society these days is that everyone is told that it’s ok to only worry about yourself…get yours…this exactly backwards…the best you can do is give of yourself…try that Pustulio…find someone and just help…it doesn’t have to be someone you know…maybe a freshman who gets picked on or needs someones help…try it dude you may be surprised…you may even feel better.

Yeah, I’m not trying to complain, it’s just been these last few months I don’t know what my problem has been, in the past I’ve always been such a positive and helpful person and I’ve felt really overwhelmed lately. See at the moment I don’t seem to have anyone to talk to so coming on here is the best I can do and you’re right I’ve probably been handling it the wrong way.

After sitting by myself for a while and watching the ESPN film on Ricky Williams I started thinking to myself that maybe I’ve forgotten who I am. I’ve been a different person lately and I just noticed it, my attitude, my outlook and everything. I think maybe I need to swallow my atheist pride sometimes and get myself back into religion, it seems maybe my once open mind has been closed by my negative outlook lately. I remember how much happier I was when I associated myself with the LDS people and the Christians, whether I believe it or not maybe I’ve just let my standards go.

This depression has been a battle for me all my life but it’s been worse than ever lately, I’m trying to fight it and I’m glad you took the time to post that JD, I really am.

You know I think what I need to do is clear my mind and push my way through these last 3 weeks of high school and then try to really buckle down and fill the leadership role on our team that seems to be completely vacant, because it seems like my team mates listen to me and even though they give me crap for being a slowpoke I’m starting to think maybe that some of them look up to me, in fact one time or another I’ve talked to our young center fielder about mental toughness and he seems to be taking it in with some real intensity.

Wow I think I had an epiphany while I was typing, you know what? Thanks JD, if you hadn’t posted I wouldn’t have posted again and that really turned my thought process around. Thanks man, I really appreciate it. Sometimes what one person says can really spark something.

Hey Pustuliio, have a seat on my couch kid…toss a nickle in the can and let me listen to you for awhile:

Ok, if you’ll notice at the bottom of everybody’s post you see a “signature attachment”. Mine is really deep, “Greatest RHP:Bob Feller”. I happened to know a little about Mr. Feller and he has attributes that I admire notwithstanding his achievements on the mound.

And you’ll maybe notice JD’s signature, “So what? You prove them wrong” there’s something special about the attitude that comes with that statement.

Then you look at yours:


Knuckle Curve
Change up

2-6/.333 avg./1B 2/2B 0/ HR 0/1 BB/1 HBP/.500 obp/.333 slg/.833 ops[/b]

You have equipped yourself for the task of pitching with the above mentioned “arsenal”. Life is like being on the mound. That’s why I like studying the art and science of pitching. There are so many life lessons you can take from your experiences on the mound. What you need is a mental “arsenal” for the daily disappointments of life.

  • Accept the fact that there will be disappointment because humans were blessed with the capacity to care…you get that…you were blessed.

*Because the above is true, you have to plan to have fun each day doing something or observing something pleasant. Plan!

*I’m reaching real far here for an analogy. There used to be a television show called “HeeHaw”, a variety show featuring country music and korny humor. One of the bits was , “Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me”. It goes like this:

“Gloom, despair and agony on me-e!
Deep dark depression, excessive misery-y!
If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all!
Gloom, despair and agony on me-e-e!”

The point is, no matter how bad you think you have it there’s always some poor sucker that thinks he’s got it worse than you. You have to [b]look inward /b.

*Enjoy challenges…face them head on and kick their butts. Man I can’t tell you how satisfying that can be.

  • Alright now a little analogy from the Hold Em’ Poker game. Everybody knows this game now. You get dealt two cards and then successive cards are dealt on the table for you to make a hand with. Your two and three from the table. The worst is a 7 - 2 offsuite. That’s crap. But you know what…I won a huge pot one day with that hand. It’s not the hand you’re dealt, it’s what you make with it.

*When you find your arsenal isn’t enough to deal with the problem, talk to friends. There are professionals also that can really help in short order.

:applause: :applause: :applause:

Thanks Dino, in fact I changed my signature, I felt like this quote from Yogi Berra sort of fit what I’ve been going through and I really like this quote.

“If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.”