Don’t upset the ump~!

After three straight walks in a row, I walked to the mound and tried to calm my guy down, only to be met by the plate umpire who asks us “ what’s the hold up guys?” My guy says “ After that last call I’d like to get a second opinion!” Without batting and eye, the ump looks at him and says.” Ok, you want a second opinion, here it is – you’re ugly too! Now let’s get back to the game.” Being that the plate ump was about 6’8” and looked like he weighted in at about 320, I could only suggest to my pitcher… “ what ever you do Rufus … don’t upset that man … I don’t want to scrape you off the bottom of his shoe after this inning!!”

We had two youngsters from a local high school act as ball boys – one boy, one girl. As the game progressed, each youngster took their turn bringing the baseballs to the plate ump. Every time the young lady –who was very attractive, would jog out to the plate ump and supply him with new baseballs, our catcher would notice from the time she left the dugout to the time she returned to the dugout. After one visit by the young lady the plate umpire deliberately took his knuckles and gave a rap to the top of our catcher’s skull cap. You could hear the “donk” all the way in the dugout. When our backstop came in after the inning was over I asked him “what was that about?” He said that the ball girl and the plate ump where just talking and somehow he got into it. When I asked him what did they say to one another to get you involved he said the plate ump said, “ you’re doing a fine job sweetheart”, then she said “ thank you daddy”, next thing you know somebody’s knocking on my door!

Before plate umpires had chest armor they had a thing called a Balloon. It was like a stuffed sofa pillow that they held in front of them to protect them from passed balls, foul tips and other stuff. During one game, a runner on third was stealing home on the pitch and it caught the batter totally by surprise. So, instead of backing out of the box he stepped forward, and quickly. That in turn caught out catcher totally by surprise as it did the plate umpire who were still in their position waiting for the pitch to arrive. The pitch did arrive but the runner had to go around his teammate at bat, which took him off the mark to the plate and right into the our catcher with the ball. Our catcher went back into the plate umpire’s balloon – bounced forward and landed on top of the
runner stealing home. Your out – came the call form the plate ump. After the call, the plate ump had some conversation with our catcher that concerned our skipper and myself. When our guy got back into the dugout he went over to our dugout scorekeeper and said “ the ump wants credit for the assist and that play!:”

Is this a great game … or what!

Coach B.

Coach B + Stories = Great Stories

Coach B + Great Stories = Book

Really!

[quote=“aboynamedkim”]Coach B + Stories = Great Stories

Coach B + Great Stories = Book

Really![/quote]

I swear I was thinking the same exact thing.