Unfortunately, my previous profession required regular attendance in the Commonwealth Court of Common Pleas, otherwise known to me as the Circus Under the Big Top.
It got so, I tried everything to avoid court. But making no arrests seemed like a poor solution to the problem for a detective.
In order to preserve my sanity, I adopted a strategy of investigation that exhausted every possible line of defense for the defendant. Soon, my cases were being handled quietly behind closed doors and I wasn’t being dragged into court kicking and screaming near as often.
By the end of my career, I was carrying a quarter around in my pocket and would pull it out before trial saying to the District Attorney, “Heads or Tails?”
Just yesterday, a jury acquitted a murder defendant of a shotgun slaying and torching of the victim’s body with flammable liquid. The container for the flammable liquid found at the scene had the defendant’s DNA on the handle.
Many lawyers and most judges take the whole thing way too seriously. Every time the Bailiff would pronounce,“All rise, the Honourable …presiding” - I would hear, “Ladies and Gentlemen, in the middle ring…under the Big Top”