Your question is in the third person, kind of. That being said (by me anyway), the situation is missing a lot of background. Therefore:
- Trying to get the most out of kid who has temperaments in orbit is a slippery slope. Unless you know the kid’s parents, are social friends, neighbors and such, be carful with your approach selection.
- Kids come with all kinds of baggage. Athletics is suppose to be an enjoyable experience, even competitive athletics. This " Learn by disappointments," … “Measure up or get out,” … and other such mindsets can put a coach in a unwanted predicament …especially in a pay-per-play environment. If the family is paying for their youngster to :be there" and pressure is on the kid to perform … good luck with the … “we told you so in the beginning.”
- If all this pertains to your current situation, be prepared for being blindsided by other family members wanting their kid to take this kid’s place on the field. All kinds of problems will be dumped into your lap in a heartbeat.
So, here’s what I’ve seen other coach’s do in a similar situations with temperamental players in the amateur, youth game.
They sidestep the issue(s) by slotting someone else, causally, but deliberately. They’ve taken the best assets of said kid and used that player in slots that get the kind into the game - but not with the baggage that the kid dragged with him/her.
There was never any discussion, debates, pre-meetings with anyone. Nor was there any after game meetings with the kid, his/her family - done, over with.
In all cases that I’ve witnessed, coaches have enough on their plate, just coaching. The mix of game plans, politics, shows and no-shows, pending lawsuits from God knows where, and all kinds of other @#!, just doesn’t warrant dealing with more problems , constantly making things worse.
If a coach is going to take on begin a “friend”, a “counselor” and “shoulder to lean on”, well… that’s your business, and perhaps, one of the many responsibilities that a coach agreed to when accepting the job. Just make sure, the boundaries of that kind of job are spelled out completely and in detail, along with what kind of professional qualifications are expected on your part, along with legal advice if and when it’s necessary.