"Most of the time I just tell them not to worry about what I throw and just concentrate on catching it but I'm sure at somepoint along the line a catcher is going to want to know what I'm throwing."
The above is what caught my attention and was unsettling to read. Though I WAS a pitcher and am now a pitching coach, I sure wouldn't want to be behind the plate expecting a hook or change-up and suddenly a 2-seam 80+ mph fastball is headed my way.
Obviously somebody has failed here - from the coaching on down. To me, a coach's responsibility is to have both his pitcher and catcher on the same page.
I agree that pitching coaches should call the majority of the pitches when these two position players are young and "uneducated" (referent to which pitch to throw in which situation.) However, as they progress through experience and instruction, the players' and coach's roles should gradually be reversed, with the exception being a "critical" stressful moment where a coach believes that neither player possesses the ability or confidence to make the proper pitch choice.
For the majority of pitchers and catchers, I believe that this should start around the time they are of babe ruth league age remembering that it certainly would depend on how "educated" the coaching staff was as well as the accumulated knowledge and maturity of both the pitcher and catcher.
Additionally, as many coaches (and some young pitchers) already do, keeping a book on hitters your team has faced to review their strengths and weaknesses often proves to be invaluable, particularly when you know your club is going to face that opponent again. Going over the their line-up before the next game is played, as well as having your pitcher and catcher quickly go through the next hitters in the batting order between innings, helps greatly...as most coaches already know.
For pitchers and catchers, it's not just about proper mechanics and how to play the position. It's also about learning what pitch to throw and when to throw it. A coach who makes ALL the calls ALL the time prevents those athletes from developing that critical knowledge.
A coach who has imparted that skill and now "trusts" the ability level of his player, particularly his catcher, should allow him to call more and more of the pitches...even if a mistake is made. As terrhp stated "It's a great teaching moment..."
To me, seeing the expression of satisfaction on a catcher's face (mirrored by the face of the pitcher) who called the proper pitch in the proper location at the proper moment that ended with the proper result, is what coaching/teaching is all about.