I wanted to write something last night Pustulio old boy…my heart goes out to you. Lonely can be a cage or it can be a liberator. Your mom and dad made you the person you are (Along with all of the external factors). This moment of silence can give you the second to HEAR that small quiet voice inside of you. The one that knows just what your passion in life is. You know sometimes when we hear that voice we get mad. We get frustrated, feel we’ve been “pulled” or “pushed” by others to do things or make choices. Those quiet moments let us know how we feel personally about all of that. Ya know my son is going through some stuff right now, he has some friends who really do not do much more than hang, go to the beach, play vids, paint ball on mommys nickle, maintain enough grades to ride the student loan through grad and then??? On the other hand Andy has what he knows is a God given talent and a burning desire to “do” something else (He feels very certain he’ll be at 92 within the next 2 months), has never been more enthusiastic about his art. He is a human being though and it stings when his buddies are out having these crazy experiences (Of course they make it seem that way anyway ) and in those moments he feels all alone and I can see he is really bummed/frustrated/unhappy…it is normal and natural.
Last night Hoyt Wilhelm could have come on here and said hey and I don’t think it would have cheered you up much. So I waited for the moment to pass and a new day to dawn. Pustulio…you don’t know it yet (Youth is so wasted on the young :lol: ) but these moments you are living now are treasures…I’ve told CF and KC86 this so, I’ll just tell you…Life is a treasure hunt, if you live each day knowing…I mean reallly knowing with all of your heart that a no doubt about it treasure is just beyond the next moment, you’ll find life has few moments of sadness, it is always one of expectations of good things…sure they’ll be moments of disappointment…who the heck has it all go right all of the time…name one person…I assure you that no matter who you name, they have issues and problems. If however you consider life as one in which we are constantly being offered a chance at treasure…the treasure of knowledge, of friendship, of charity, of community, of love…get the picture (Even last night you had the treasure of honesty and clarity and self-introspection…though you didn’t see them)? You know, there may be some kid who has reached out to you…to be your friend or to learn from you…you may have overlooked him as insignificant (Maybe he was a grade lower or really wasn’t very good or was a dork or something) and he may have had a moment of agony and loneliness like you did last night…that kid you may have never noticed…but if you had, you would have felt a taste of the treasure of leadership, or comradery or the speacial magic treasure of teaching someone something. I think it important Pustulio old boy that you go through those moments like last night…the sting makes you want to change so it doesn’t happen again, it lets you know you are alive and not satisfied with whatever it is.
I am very happy that you know enough, that we do care about you here, you writing that shows you know you can trust us to help or at least listen. You see, to me that is a treasure. I thank you for it.
Now snap out of it and go do something good…do it for the sake of itself and do it with the expectation that you’ll receive nothing in return for it…see if any treasure uncovers itself then…