And..........The Depression Sets In

It’s been a long time since I’ve been this depressed and upset with my life.

It doesn’t seem like anybody cares about me anymore. I figured I’d put this here since you guys are as close of friends as anyone. It seems like my friends, the people I associate myself with are constantly in need of help and that I’m always the one giving it. The problem is that I’m helping people that I see as in a better situation than I am and emotionally I’m torn up because I feel as though when I am in need of guidance nobody is there.

I’m a lonely soul to say the least right now. Anybody else ever feel this way?

Oh, Pustulio…
I’m not a psychologist, but I understand exactly what you’re up against. You’re in the same position as a lot of people whom others depend on for advice, a shoulder to cry on, whatever—the problem is you’ve been giving so much of yourself you have nothing left for yourself. This problem is something that happens to people in all walks of life, not only professionals such as doctors, psychologists, law enforcement officers, but also ordinary folk in ordinary walks of life—it becomes overwhelming, and many have no idea how to keep it from grinding them down. What you need to do is step back and give yourself a chance to catch your breath—clear your mind and put things in perspective. If there’s someone in your life you can talk to, do it. You need to take the time to get back in touch with yourself. 8)

I wanted to write something last night Pustulio old boy…my heart goes out to you. Lonely can be a cage or it can be a liberator. Your mom and dad made you the person you are (Along with all of the external factors). This moment of silence can give you the second to HEAR that small quiet voice inside of you. The one that knows just what your passion in life is. You know sometimes when we hear that voice we get mad. We get frustrated, feel we’ve been “pulled” or “pushed” by others to do things or make choices. Those quiet moments let us know how we feel personally about all of that. Ya know my son is going through some stuff right now, he has some friends who really do not do much more than hang, go to the beach, play vids, paint ball on mommys nickle, maintain enough grades to ride the student loan through grad and then??? On the other hand Andy has what he knows is a God given talent and a burning desire to “do” something else (He feels very certain he’ll be at 92 within the next 2 months), has never been more enthusiastic about his art. He is a human being though and it stings when his buddies are out having these crazy experiences (Of course they make it seem that way anyway :wink: ) and in those moments he feels all alone and I can see he is really bummed/frustrated/unhappy…it is normal and natural.
Last night Hoyt Wilhelm could have come on here and said hey and I don’t think it would have cheered you up much. So I waited for the moment to pass and a new day to dawn. Pustulio…you don’t know it yet (Youth is so wasted on the young :lol: ) but these moments you are living now are treasures…I’ve told CF and KC86 this so, I’ll just tell you…Life is a treasure hunt, if you live each day knowing…I mean reallly knowing with all of your heart that a no doubt about it treasure is just beyond the next moment, you’ll find life has few moments of sadness, it is always one of expectations of good things…sure they’ll be moments of disappointment…who the heck has it all go right all of the time…name one person…I assure you that no matter who you name, they have issues and problems. If however you consider life as one in which we are constantly being offered a chance at treasure…the treasure of knowledge, of friendship, of charity, of community, of love…get the picture (Even last night you had the treasure of honesty and clarity and self-introspection…though you didn’t see them)? You know, there may be some kid who has reached out to you…to be your friend or to learn from you…you may have overlooked him as insignificant (Maybe he was a grade lower or really wasn’t very good or was a dork or something) and he may have had a moment of agony and loneliness like you did last night…that kid you may have never noticed…but if you had, you would have felt a taste of the treasure of leadership, or comradery or the speacial magic treasure of teaching someone something. I think it important Pustulio old boy that you go through those moments like last night…the sting makes you want to change so it doesn’t happen again, it lets you know you are alive and not satisfied with whatever it is.
I am very happy that you know enough, that we do care about you here, you writing that shows you know you can trust us to help or at least listen. You see, to me that is a treasure. I thank you for it.
Now snap out of it and go do something good…do it for the sake of itself and do it with the expectation that you’ll receive nothing in return for it…see if any treasure uncovers itself then…

When I was in the service, I remember a Corpsman in my outfit that was always “there” no matter what. He would listen to just about any gripe and his shoulders were as big as I’ve seen on any man, figuratively speaking.
We called him Red because of his carrot top hair, and for a man that was a little over five feet five inches, he was the rock of the squad and things just seem to more right than wrong when he was around.

After a mail call one night, someone pointed out that Red was never around - “probably doing his thing” somebody said. Afterwards, after a slip of the tongue from a company clerk, we found out that Red was a foster youngster most of his life. That maturity that everyone else lacked - he got in hurry. But, it never did hard-boil the man. To the contrary.

I’d say, from reading your post, strength of character and a sober realization that others depend on you more that you can depend on others, is what separates you from the common man. A blessing that’ll save your life some day- or others.
I’m alive today to write these words, because of a man just like you. A Corpsman called Red.

Coach B.

Thanks guys for your comments. I think I needed to sleep it off a little bit and I’m glad I had you guys to talk to. I’m feeling better now, still feeling a little down but not as much as I was last night.

Thank you once again, Zita, JD and Coach B.

Buddy, you’ll be okay. Hang in there. Remember to laugh. Hope everything works out for you.

I’ve been there kid. Many times. What I have found helpful is a close friend that keeps you accountable. Someone you trust that will either tell you where the bear craps in the woods or will sit and listen without judging. You find that friend…it will be better than winning the powerball. 8)

Once again thanks guys, I need an ambien. I think it’s this insomnia attack that has been causing me to think too much. I think way too much for my own good anyways without these extra hours of the night.

I’ve been there kid. Many times. What I have found helpful is a close friend that keeps you accountable. Someone you trust that will either tell you where the bear craps in the woods or will sit and listen without judging. You find that friend…it will be better than winning the powerball. 8)[/quote]

You’re right on Dino. I know I’m still kind of a young buck, and pust, I feel your pain man. Been going through some hard times myself, and I really want to have a best friend to listen and be a backbone of support. I think I may have found one that I can confide in! I hope things work out just dandy for you man!

I don’t know you that well, but…

I’ll say the same thing here I’ve said, in somewhat different terms, to my son when he thinks the world is ending over a hit batter or two, or K at the plate. Take a little time off, find a children’s hospital, like Riley’s, and take a long walk through it. No matter how bad one thinks they have it, it could be a whole, whole lot worse.