Absolutely brilliant!

A club I was with had some doe-ray$-me problems going into the season, seeing how sponsorship didn’t materialize like expected. So, the equipment manager and a few bright lights in the front office decided to go on an economy kick… and uniforms were at the top of the agenda.

The new uniforms came in late during the first month of play… in fact, we almost lost two games because we had a mixture of home and away uniforms that we ended up playing in. We had an abundance of away bottoms and an abundance of home tops…. Sooooooooo, the uniform that we took the field in for those games were a bit odd to say the least.

One hot sticky afternoon, we arrived at the club house and found the new uniforms, a stark white, hanging in the lockers… but no names… no numbers ….no nothing! Out came the magic markers and … presto!!! Instant numbers. All in all, things didn’t turn out too bad, considering we
picked the equipment manager off the floor when he saw his brand spanking new uniforms being marked up with ZORRO JUMBO MARKERS. And the numbers looked pretty good … even though we did the job ourselves without lights. It was a hot sweltering day and the old stadium locker room lights were like tanning bulbs.

Only one problem… nobody counted on the different styles and colors of underwear that shown through the shear uniforms…cheapies that they were. And for those guys that didn’t wear any but the good ole basic three strap… you know…. it made taking the field even more interesting. And none of this came to light until our guys took the field and the crowd started a chorus of whistles and laughing.

Our trainer nudged our batting coach who was sitting next to me and said…” you’re not going to believe this… take a look!.”

As our batting coach ran out to get the guys off the field… he got all the way to the first baseline when it dawned on him that he too was in uniform… and he was wearing the stuff that had creative designs on them, things that his wife had gotten him for their anniversary… I was told later. The look on his face when he realized… was priceless.

Three days later the coaching staff was summoned “upstairs” for a meeting with THE GUY. As we sat along a conference table… expecting to receive our severance checks, when one of the owners and his secretary comes in and says with a big smile, “BRILLIANT, ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!! That uniform gag went over great. We picked up a new line of advertising boards all over left and right field!!

However, a week later, a letter from our league office … thought differently.

What team were you coaching for? Was it a minor league team? Give us some history Coach!

This club was one of a few that were part of some Independent Leagues… that came and went. These semi-pro and one pro league came and went during the 70’s and 80’s and there are still issues left unresolved… legal issues… contractual problems, debts, and so on.

And, although I understand your question(s) the least I say about the details of these clubs and their business practices … and my staffing, the better.

I did about 18 years with these various clubs… and my experiences are not the stuff that books and movies are made of. It was a living… of sorts, and it was even fun at times. One instance of fun and games was our temporary relocation to another field… the new address turned out to be a miniture golf course. The entire move was nothing more than a distraction. Five hour bus ride to… and five hour bus ride back. We only found out later that the reason for the deception was due to the building that we were using had to be fumagated. Never did find out for what.

Haha nice. You always have the oddest, weirdest, craziest and most internesting stories.

So tell me…Mr. Bower… anything happen to you along the road of life that’s of interest to us odd, weird and crazy folks???

A lot but not nearly as good of stories as yours. :lol: :smiley: :wink:

A lot but not nearly as good of stories as yours.

Yeah… stuff happens…

I see you’re in Upper State New York. I was on a team bus that was going south on I-87 in that neck of the woods. We had just finished a road tour and the ride down I-87 through the Adirondacks was beautiful. It was also after 911 and the New York State Police, Customs and the US Boarder Patrol had a check point just above Glen Falls as I remember.

After we waited in line with the other vehicles, a Trooper signaled our driver to come forward and stop. After a short conversation with the driver, he noticed that we were a ball club and that was that…


The Trooper was wearing a hat that resembled a Smokey The Bear hat …. and…. one of our wise guys just couldn’t leave well enough alone… so he poked his head out his bus window and said….”only you can prevent forest fires!”.

Well, needless to say… we were now the guesses of the New York State Police, the Department Of Customs and the US Boarder Patrol at an inspection station which was just to the right of the check point.

After what seemed hours…. No make that a changing of the seasons… we were finally about to get under way… when an officer in a black jump suit overalls entered the bus and gave our bus driver some paper work…. when everyone noticed he had a large stain of oil or something
on the crotch of overalls and another large stain of oil right smack dab on the seat of his pants.

Everyone and I mean everyone turned around and looked at our smart mouth sitting about five rows back… and gave him a look that said……” don’t even think about it!”

Like I said… stuff happens.

Haha yes!!!

The Adirondacks are a beautiful place. I went to Old Forge and my family took our boat up there to the lakes which are just beautiful. We stayed in a pretty crappy and small place, not too bad though. But it was 100% worth it. I was little and couldn’t fall asleep becuase the guy that owned it was talking about how many times bears come right onto the back deck to get food that people left at a cookout. Haha it was a great place.

uhh, I have some interesting stories that involve my hockey team getting chased by the police, one of our players almost getting run over.
I also got headbutted by a kid in provincials for baseball?
I’ve got lots of little things I guess.

Bower you mentioned bears…. Well, I remember a run in with a wild turkey up in that part of the world.

Our bus stop’d on the side of the road, where some guys had to take a break for a little yellow snow. (it was in August, but you get the idea.)

Off in a small clearing, about sixty feet away from us, a bunch of turkey hens were being approached by two toms strutting their stuff.

Now, doesn’t one of our guys start to strut, flap his arms, and make like the gobble, gobble.

Well let me tell you…. the next minute I see about five guys pick’em up and laying ‘ em down with a full head of steam heading to the bus. One of the toms evidently took offense to the gestures and DING!!! ROUND ONE!!
On the ride back the topic of conversation was…. Geessh fella, what the heck did you say them???

A few days later when playing a home game and we’re getting the daylights kick out of us and after five innings and four pitchers later I just happened to remark in the dugout…. “ what haven’t we tried with these guys yet?” Upon which one of players from the bus ride experience stood up, looked at the opposing bench… started flapping his arms and yelled out… gobble, gobble, gobble.

I though it was funny as anything…. but the umpire-in-chief charged us for
unsportsmanship like conduct. Turkeys…. their everywhere.

Coach B.