I've seen so many good players sit, stare into space, wait and wait their turn, but never feel the field under their spikes.
I've seen so many good pitchers, I mean really good ones, control the game with everything they had, only to be passed over because of no gas.
Regardless of the reasons, are there are many, this game is not fair, reasonable or true to the spirt of the game. Neglect of why you play this game is very personal and not shared by many, if anyone outside your immediate relatives.
I'd say there are few things in this life that'll try you patience and expectations like a sport will. In that regard, I have no idea of who came up with the phrase .." our team" because from where I sat, a team of one seems to be the order of things. Now I know there are mindsets that say otherwise, and for them, they rarely sit out game after game, plugged in to some spot on the field with the score so far out of reach it's not funny, and so on.
With all that said... you're being in this spot in life makes you stronger than anyone, and I mean anyone. You have the best seat in the house to see-n-think, reason and judge, understand the true meaning of inner strength.
For all that's said and done, your with an alumni of millions - and I for one have more respect and admiration for you and your willingness to "be there".
Now before someone types in... "you don't know what it's like Coach.." I can honestly tell you, yes, I do know what it's like. And when I became older and stronger, I had the meanest reputation of taking the mound and knocking down more batters with wild pitches, yelling.. " I got it... I got it !" only to run head long into the third baseman and the short stop.
My American Legion coach pulled me out of a game once and sized up my situation. We were losing badly and he didn't want to discourage me by pulling me out. He approached the mound and gave me a pat on the shoulder and said " you've have enough.. let's see if we can't turn this around for you." My coach knew a new player was entering the game and this kid had a batting average in the millions. In short, he would have really lit me up. As I gave the ball to my coach, I saw the kid walking to the box, then without thinking I said.. " New kid, hmmm...I haven't hit this one yet".
To my amazement, our head coach sent my reliever back to the bench, dropped the ball back in my glove, and walked away.
Not fair, not fair is this game sometimes...