Bower, I very seriously know how you feel, one of our baseball players passed away this summer, it was terrible he was such a nice well liked guy. Bad things happen to good people, such is life. If you know the person a while, its going to hurt for a long time, hell I still miss the crap out of him and it was 9 months ago. But I realised soon after his death, you can take one of two things from something like this.
1-Life sucks, we could all die tommorow so why the hell should we all go on living
2-Life is precious, we could all die tommorow, so do everything today like you ARE going to die tommorow
Its been our driving force this season with my team, we give 100% every with every single thing we do because we know that if we give 99% on just one thing, we are dishonoring our fallen teamate who doesn't have the chance to give 100%. We are going to win the league for him this year, there is not one single doubt in my mind.
So I'm very sorry to hear for your loss Bower, death hurts and its going to a while before things go back to normal. They will eventually, even if it seems like they never will.