Here in the Nati, it is a standing rule that you can not "Pete Rose" the catcher. It goes for select, high rec , and low rec leagues.
If your coach did not cover this at the beginging of the season, it his fault. If the umpire did not enforce this at another time, it needs to be reported to the league office and the umpires association. " Enforcement must be uniform and consistent or you will get fights and "purpose pitches."
As a player, you have the right to meet with the commissioner of your league. I would set up a meeting and explain the situation to him.
As far as saying something to the other team, dont do it! Cheer your guys!
Same thing goes double for the umpire. Riding or getting in the face of the umpire only leads to your team getting more bad calls. Ump's are human too! If the guy is a repeated offender, then call the league and the umps association and ask for him to be reassigned. This is for your head coach to do, not a player, asst coach, or a parent.
I know its tough being suspended with only a few games remaining, but you can be a good team mate by going and encouraging your team mates. Keeping a score or what ever (as long as your league does not ban you from the park). Remember your a team mate first!